It’s ALIVE! Also, How to Torture Your Roommate, Vol. I.

Quick lunchtime update because I’ve been super busy which means very little time to creat culinary disasters masterpieces.  And I realize my last two posts were about bread and this one is going to be heading in to a very bready direction but please don’t think that I’m going to make this a bread blog.  That is not my intention.  I promise to ruin create some cuisine that doesn’t come in loaf format very soon.  But this had to be done now because it needs a few days to make magic happen before you can use it.  And by “magic” I mean wild yeast and fermentation.  Or, as I explained it to my roommate, “We have to make it COME ALIVE!”  (you totally have to say that with the right frankenstein-esk voice for it to have maximum effect).

For those of you still in the dark, we’re making a sourdough bread starter.  Sourdough bread is the king of all the breads in my opinion.  I feel like most of San Francisco would agree with me.  I don’t usually need validation from the west coast but you have to admit, those San Francisco people know some good bread.  (Disclaimer:  My roommate apparently does not agree that San Francisco knows good bread as she has declared sourdough bread “gross.”  San Francisco can send complaints to her via commenting below.  I will personally ensure she gets every single one of them.)

If you’ve never made sourdough bread before, there are a few ways of doing it.  The first way (and the only way I’ve tried thus far) is to go to your local mega-mart, buy a box of sourdough bread mix for bread makers, dump the box into your bread maker with the prescribed amount of water, turn on, wait and voila, sourdough bread.  This is of course…cheating.  I usually have no problem with cheating.  Just ask my diet. 

But….I have always wanted to make a real old-fashioned sourdough bread which requires to you make hooch a starter.  It’s really just some flour and water and you let it ferment (found out the byproduct of such fermentation is some old-fashioned hooch and so why have I not made this before?).  As I explained it to my roommate – we’re waiting for it to “COME ALIVE!”  What happens during this fermentation process is super science-y so we’ll skip the in-depth details and just say that we’re waiting for yeast….wild yeast, not the stuff you buy in little envelopes in the grocery store.  My explanation of all the little bacteria we’re going to be growing and feeding every day sent my roommate into a near melt-down.  I was shocked.  She honestly had no idea that there are lots of living creatures in the food she eats.  So, thanks to me and my explanations, she will probably never eat cheese or yogurt again.  My apologies to the dairy industry.

I was so tickled by her reaction to the idea of growing a colony of bacteria in our kitchen that I drew a face on the container and added a little dialogue bubble that says “FEED ME!” and then named him Clive.  I probably should have given my starter a girl name since we want it to get sour and acidic but too late, Clive already has a name tag and everything.  I also had to resist the urge to move Clive while roommate was sleeping to surprise her.  I considered sitting him in her shower with a big “FEED ME” sign.  I repressed the urge since Clive has to grow for at least a week so there’s plenty of time to screw with the roommate.  Of course, if I screw with roommate too much, she will refuse to feed Clive if I have to go on a business trip…tough decision.  Anyone available for Clive-sitting on short notice?  I can pay you in hooch.



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4 responses to “It’s ALIVE! Also, How to Torture Your Roommate, Vol. I.

  1. The Roommate

    just so you know…I’m thinking about getting some “pet” spiders. Think about that next time you mull over the decision to put that thing in my shower.

    • Oh come on, Clive doesn’t have any legs. Spiders are just leggy freaks of nature. And you can’t make delicious bread with spiders. And more importantly, you make a spider a “pet” and you’ll come home to find all your stuff on the lawn. ;-P

  2. I will totally keep Clive in exchange for my kids.

    Well, maybe not my kids, but definitely for some bread when it’s done. I love sourdough bread and have brought it home from San Fran. The Roommate is obviously off her rocker. I’ll take her bread too.


  3. Pingback: Give Your Pizza Some Gas | lilpyrogirl

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